Tips for Family Bonding

Family Bonding

Tips You Need To Begin Connecting With Your Family

Whether you are looking to expand your social circle or are simply looking to better understand your family tree and where you came from, there can be many reasons to want to reach out to long-lost family members. Not only can reconnecting help you to feel more grounded and like you are part of something meaningful, but it can also help you to learn more about your family, and ultimately yourself as well and your family bonding.

While the thought of reaching out to long-lost family members can be intimidating at first, it doesn’t have to be difficult or stressful. Considering what you hope to get out of these new connections can help you decide on your approach, and make it easier to reach out and spend time family bonding. If you are looking for some tips that can help you when it comes to reconnecting, here are some things to keep in mind.

Start With Research

To begin, you need to do some research. You can’t reach out to long-lost family members if you don’t know who they are. Looking into things like the 1950 census records can be a good place to start. This can often be accomplished online, and in some cases, you may be able to find resources at a local genealogy center. The more research you do about your family tree, the more cousins and other distant relatives you will uncover. From there, you can then look up these family members on other online platforms, like social media platforms to learn more about them.

Begin Reaching Out

After you have researched some of your distant family members, you can then begin reaching out. When doing this, you will need to think about how you want to approach them. It may come as a surprise to them to hear from you, and you may feel uncertain about how exactly to reach out to them to ensure that you get a response.

Often, one of the best things to do is to keep your initial message short and to the point. It is important to explain who you are right away, and why you are reaching out. The more that you can communicate in a short message, the easier it will be for them to take in the information you are sharing, and the more likely they are to respond to it. However, it is also important to keep in mind that some may be wary of contact from someone online who they are not familiar with, and this is nothing personal.

Be Clear About What You’re Looking For

Something else that you need to be cognizant of when crafting your initial message is what you hope to get out of the connection. Some may be looking for people to talk to on a regular basis, or to visit. Depending on the distance between you and your family members, this may or may not be feasible.

While some may simply want to talk and catch up, others may be more interested in sharing photos, or meeting in person. Before you reach out, you need to think about what it is that you hope to gain and communicate that clearly to your family member. You also need to be aware that this may not work for them and let them know that that is okay, and there is no pressure if they do not also want to be more connected.

Take Things Slow

If your family member is open to communicating and connecting, then you can proceed to do so. That being said, it is important to make sure that you are taking things slow. This will be a new situation for both of you. Additionally, because you are related and share some of the same family members, there may be lots of emotions and differing opinions involved.

Something else to consider is that even though this other person may be related to you by blood, that does not necessarily mean that you will have anything in common, or that you will agree on topics that are important to you. While some may want to feel an instant sense of connection with a new family member, it is important to remember that this may not be the case, and you may not feel the closeness that is seeking, especially not right away.

By taking things slowly and getting to know them in a gradual way, you can help your new relationship to develop in a more relaxed and natural way. Not only that, but you can avoid any feelings of pressure to connect that could make either of you uncomfortable. This also provides a great way for you to set some boundaries and expectations for each other. For example, you can settle into a more comfortable rhythm for getting a hold of each other as you make space for one another in your lives. Because you both likely have responsibilities, taking it slow can help you establish a connection, with less stress.

Keep It Casual With Family Bonding

When you finally get in touch with a long-lost family member, you may feel tempted to go all in and talk about everything that you can think of. You may have important questions pertaining to your family that you want to talk about. However, it may be more beneficial to keep it light and casual at first. Diving in too quickly could lead to arguments, or to touching on sensitive topics. This could make it hard to build a relationship and could lead to you or your family member wanting to cut contact right away.

By keeping things casual you can help ensure that you both feel comfortable and that you aren’t pushing things before you feel ready to talk about them. This can be especially important to keep in mind if there has been anything particularly difficult to talk about in your family’s history.

Prepare Yourself for Different Possibilities

Even though the prospect of getting in touch with long-lost family members can be exciting, it may not always turn out how you think it might. The reality is that your long-lost family members may not be seeking to connect like you are. They may not have an interest in it, or they may simply have too much on their plate to put the effort into forging a new relationship. Not only that but there may be things in your family’s past that they do not want to discuss or deal with.

This may be hard to deal with when you are wanting to build relationships. However, these things are possibilities. The more that you can be aware of the different possibilities, and learn to be comfortable with the reality that you may not get the outcome you desire, the less stress you will feel throughout the process.

Some Parting Thoughts About Reconnecting 

Reconnecting with a long-lost family member can be a great opportunity to learn more about your family, and also yourself. That being said, it may not always feel like an easy or straightforward process, especially if you don’t get the reaction that you were hoping for. The good news is, though, that by doing your research and approaching the situation with caution you can help set yourself up for a better outcome, and also be better adjusted in the face of a different reality.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here