All you expect from any relationship in your life is not to forget how to love yourself, and this is the last thing that you practice in your relationship? Are you dating a narcissist, or are you in any way in contact with a narcissist? Do you wonder again and again about how to love yourself in a relationship but never get an answer? If yes, then you are in the right place.
Undoubtedly, dating a narcissist can be the most difficult thing one can do in life. However, if you want to make this relationship work, then don’t expect much from your partner when you don’t love yourself enough. Yes, it is the essential characteristic of any relationship that one should not forget to love themselves in a relationship. Are you struggling with the question of how to love yourself in a relationship, then this blog has some tips for you to practice. These tips will definitely help you regain your self-esteem, and you will again be able to love yourself. Never forget, people who love themselves make a beautiful love story. Let’s get started.
Tips to Love Yourself in a Narcissistic Relationship
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Respect Yourself
We are always focused on what others think of us but have you ever really thought about yourself? You are seeking respect from the other people, which you deserve, but before expecting anything from others, are you capable of doing it for yourself?
Do you respect yourself? The person who respects themselves will only fight through anything to make a narcissist respect them because they know what they deserve, and they will never compromise with it. Next time whenever the question strikes, “how to love yourself in a relationship.” Just tell yourself to reread this point.
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Avoid Explaining Yourself
Narcissists use scrutiny or intimidation to make others second-guess themselves. Doing so gives them a feeling of power and control.
Part of boundary-setting is the right to decide what you share with others. The less you share, mainly personal information, the less a narcissist has to use against you.
You don’t need to justify your thoughts, feelings, or actions to an intrusive narcissist. If a narcissist criticizes you, you can say something like, “I hear your opinion, and I will consider that.” If they question your actions, say, “I am confident in my choice.” If they demand an explanation, say, “That’s personal,” or “We’ll have just to agree to disagree.”
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Set Boundaries
You very well know when the narcissist crosses the line when you are in a heated argument. So, you will have to do it right there and by setting boundaries. If you do not like something, just address it. If you are okay with his jokes but cannot tolerate double-meaning jokes, let them know that they are disturbing you with their actions.
For instance, you can say, “If you cannot stop telling me those jokes, then I cannot continue talking to you. You should respect me and my feelings,” or simply say, “you should respect me,” with confidence invoice. Even after your confession, they keep doing the same thing repeatedly, and then it’s time to hang up on them or just leave.
They will blame you and try to play the victim card in reaction to your action. You will have to be firm by not going back to them until they start working on their habits. A beautiful love story is not created when your lives are mingled but when you actually know where to stop.
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Leave When Things Do Not Seem Good to You
You don’t need anyone’s permission to exit a destructive interaction. You, not others, get to determine what is healthy for you.
You can glance at your watch and say, “Look at the time: I’m late.” Then leave. Late for what? It doesn’t matter. Every moment you remain in the presence of controlling or abusive behavior makes you late for healthier self-care.
Your cellphone can be a helpful prop. Nobody can know for sure whether you’ve received a call. Say, “I’m sorry, I have to take this call.” Then leave. Or decide in advance how many minutes you want to give a narcissist, then set your phone or watch alarm to go off at that time. When the alarm sounds, excuse yourself.
Or directly confront ill-treatment by saying something like, “I will excuse myself. We can talk another time when you are ready for a constructive conversation,” or, “This is not healthy. I will not participate in this kind of dialogue.”
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You Get What You Give
If you think this sounds rude, then remember, loving yourself can be hard on others sometimes but never forget that you are here to create a beautiful love story, so this is the right yet selfish answer to “how to love yourself in a relationship.”
You would have heard many people saying, “treat the other people like you want to be treated.” They are right, but we generally make an exception when it comes to narcissists. We get so irritated by their behavior that we tend to forget that they are also humans.
When you treat someone with love and respect, there are high chances that the other person will treat you the same way. Therefore, if you want them to respect you, start with respecting them. It might not be easy initially, but it can be done.
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Appear to be Emotionally Independent
If you always seem desperate for the narcissist’s acceptance, attention, or recognition, it’s harder for them and people in general to respect you. When you appear desperate for people’s support, especially those who are not close to you, they usually conclude that you are weaker and less valuable. On the other hand, when you appear emotionally independent, people typically see you as more vital and in control, and they automatically believe that you deserve respect. I’m not saying that you should not seek other people’s emotional support when you need it; you should only avoid looking desperate when you intend to gain their respect.
Conclusion
Hence, these are the six tips to love yourself in a narcissistic relationship. Sometimes, it can be challenging to set the boundaries and give the person what they deserve because of your sake, but this is the right thing to do.
